Perhaps one of the scariest moments in any young college students life revolves around a holiday, or family dinner party, where one inquisitive family member turns their head towards you and asks, “So where do you see yourself after graduation?” Whether you are a freshman student, or a junior like me, the panic of the unknown seeps in, and if you are anything like me, you begin shoveling more food down your throat hoping your family will assume you are about to choke and they will forget their questions altogether.

Another level of panic that comes in second to the looming “graduation questions” are the questions about what college/university you are going to attend. Whether you be a freshman student applying to colleges for the first time, or a transfer student trying to find a different college to attend, the fear is all the same: you just don’t know.

While the fears from family dinner parties and interrogations from Aunt Judy are enough to put any horror movie to shame, I am here to tell you that actually attending college is not that scary. The most important thing when applying or transferring is making sure you are comfortable with your decision.

I spoke with Sierra Fuller, a senior at The College of New Jersey to better understand her own transfer experience and how it has affected her academic career. Sierra felt immense pressure from her family to attend Boston University because that is where both of her parents and her brother attended. She complied with her families wishes but shared with me the regret that she had about the decision:

“Going to Boston University wasn’t the worst thing for me, but the experience definitely wasn’t for me. I struggled to connect with the other students because we did not have anything in common; and it didn’t help that I was in the completely wrong major which made me fall behind academically. I did it to make my parents happy, but ultimately I wasn’t happy.”

It is easy to fall into the pattern of allowing parents or advisers to make decisions for you when you aren’t sure of the path you want to take right away. When Sierra was a freshman she was unsure of the major that she would be interested in and consequently went to a school that did not further her academic career.

“When I told my parents I wasn’t happy in Boston, they weren’t mad at me, they only wished I had told them going to Boston wasn’t my dream like it was theirs. Attending TCNJ has made me so much happier. I am finally in the major that I want to be in and I feel like I have a much stronger connection with my professors and peers.”

College is all about trial and error; people rarely ever get things right the first try and that is okay. It is important to understand that transferring to different schools does not make you a failure – it shows that as a student, you care enough about your education to change your course of action when something doesn’t feel right.
One of the programs at The College of New Jersey that has helped me assimilate into the college life the best, is their “Griffin” program. The Griffin’s are all students (mainly juniors and seniors) who are assigned to a small group of transfer students each semester, and act as ambassadors for the college. They help transfer students transition into life at TCNJ so that there is less stress for the students. My Griffin is Jordan Virgil, a junior English Secondary Education major. Jordan has always been so helpful during the transition process and always gives the best advice:

“As a transfer student myself, I was in the same boat as you and I know that at the beginning of your transition, everything can seem a bit overwhelming: the prospect of making friends, finding your niche, adjusting to living arrangements, and looking at your syllabus thinking ‘how am I going to do all of this work by May?’ – but I promise, it gets easier.”

Time may be the most important concept when transitioning into your first year at a new school. Although freshman students do not get assigned Griffin’s like transfer students do, Jordan’s advice can be applicable to freshman and transfer students alike:

“All students acclimate at different paces so value your unique experience, but also remember: we’re all there with you! If you’re having a hard time, don’t hesitate to reach out to someone.”

So if you don’t know what you are specifically looking for in a college when you are first applying or transferring, it is okay. Trial and error is something that every college student experiences, and no college student has a perfect college experience; everyone will experience a few bumps in the road and frustrations along the way. The most important thing to keep in mind is to trust your academic instincts, and take advantage of all of the resources that your college/university has to offer.