Tips on Surviving Freshman Year…with a Random Roommate

It’s hard to believe that it’s been seven months since I moved into my small (make that really small) dorm room at The College of New Jersey. Freshman move-in day was a whirlwind that I’m glad I don’t have to relive. The stress of hauling heavy belongings into a space half the size of my room at home, saying goodbye to my family, and the excruciating heat were just some of the struggles that I had to deal with on that day. On top of that, a sea of strangers surrounded me, including the person I would have to share a room with for the next ten months. As my freshman year is coming to an end, however, I can assure you that having a random roommate isn’t always a nightmare. Here are some tips on living with a random roommate your freshman year:

1.) Talk before school starts

I received my roommate assignment in July, about one month before move-in day. This gave me enough time to exchange numbers and talk about the essentials with my new roommate. In her blog post  for “We Are IU”, a blogging resource for Indiana University, Linden Spalding writes that “it’s important to get in touch with [your roommate] before you get on campus.” Spalding also offers other DOs and DONTs of living with a random roommate. From personal experience, the time leading up to move-in day is perfect to get the “getting to know you” questions out of the way. This makes move-in day a little less awkward since you already know a little bit about the person.

2.) Make a contract and stick to it

A written set of rules will remind you and your future roommate about what is and isn’t acceptable behavior. At TCNJ, we are required to fill out a “shared living space agreement” with questions ranging from “How many guests are acceptable in the room?” to “What are each person’s sleeping habits?” This contract is then posted in a common area. In her blog, College with Caitlyn, Caitlyn Stone notes that setting boundaries is “absolutely imperative” when living with a new person. Following a contract will make the experience of living with a roommate easier.

3.) Don’t try to be best friends 

It is important to be nice to your future roommate, but there is a difference between being nice and being too nice. Go into the experience realizing that you may not be best friends. I mean, c’mon, don’t set your expectations too high. In an article for Teen Vogue, Casey Lewis says that “there is no pressure to be BFFs.” Just because you aren’t best friends doesn’t mean that it will be the worst experience of your life, though. If you and your roommate go into the experience realizing this, chances are, you’ll be just fine.

4.) Speak up if something is bothering you 

It is so easy to bottle up everything that bothers you. If you end up doing that, you’ll eventually explode. If your roommate does something that irks you to no end, say something. Let’s put it this way — if your sibling (or anyone in your family, for that matter) left your door open after leaving your bedroom, would you say something? Living with a roommate should be no different. Have open conversations and you will have a positive experience.

5.) Give them a chance 

If you start school with a I-know-I’m-just-going-to-hate-my-roommate attitude, then you will. Give them a chance, get to know them, and you will have a great year.

Personally, choosing to “go random” with my roommate was a risky decision, but not one I regret. I have had a great experience with my roommate this year and we have even decided to live together next year. Living with a random roommate doesn’t have to be torture, but if you don’t follow the tips above, it could be.

 

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